Life-changing habits are often built on nudges, not breakthroughs
How small shifts helped me rebuild strength and presence through motherhood.
When people talk about getting stronger, they often imagine a big change, some dramatic before-and-after moment.
But in my experience, the real shift didn’t come from one big decision. It came from a series of persistent nudges.
Like James Clear writes in Atomic Habits, small things, repeated consistently, change the trajectory1. That was true for me. I didn’t “bounce back” after having kids. I intentionally nudged my way forward.
The first nudge
A year after my firstborn, Foolet, arrived, I was exhausted and unsure of my body. A friend, Eddie, invited me to a Barry’s class.
It was brutal. I was winded the entire time.
But it reminded me what effort felt like. What movement could do for the body and the mind. That class didn’t turn me into a fitness junkie. But it was the nudge that started everything.
Then came Covid
Work from home blurred the days. But a yoga studio near my place still stayed open, and also offered zoom classes. I started attending it online, and then when restrictions were changed, I started going out. Not out of discipline—just survival. I needed space, structure, breath. Home at that point in time was just too claustrophobic and noisy, so yoga gave me the time out I needed.
Yoga became my one non-negotiable. The place I showed up, even when I didn’t feel like it.
I also found a shared activity with my son, packing him into the child seat behind me and cycling together. We started with short loops around the neighbourhood, then ventured further: to the beaches, into the city, and once, all the way to Jurassic Mile.
It was tiring and fun. Along the way, we’d chat about the trees, the clouds, the buildings, the endless construction sites. I’d pedal, and he’d point things out with excitement. Those were some of our best conversations—long, meandering, and unhurried. I’ll always cherish those rides.
Getting ready for #2
A few years passed, I was in a better place. Still juggling, still tired—but stronger.
Peter Attia’s Outlive book2 made its waves, including his podcast, just as the longevity movement started getting mainstream attention. I started working with a coach to focus on strength training. I needed someone who understood my body, and the season I was in. Along the way, even when I got pregnant , I continued training, right up to the third trimester.
I also started swimming again. Despite the heat and discomfort (thank you, Singapore), it helped me move without strain. It felt good. It gave me back a sense of control.
Nudges that added up
There wasn’t one breakthrough. Just small things that built momentum over years:
A friend who invited me to class, and then others
A yoga studio that became a routine
A coach who guided me through strength training before and through my pregnancy
Swimming as a low-impact, feel-good movement
Cycling with Foolet up to 15km some days during Covid, with him spotting cranes and excavators while I pedalled (furiously!)
Experimenting with activities such as pilates and spin (which I hope to get back to!)
These nudges changed everything.
A movement portfolio
Over time, I built what I now think of as my current movement portfolio:
Yoga, for grounding and breath
Strength training, for durability and aging well
Swimming, especially through pregnancy, but now also a life skill for my kids to pick up
Walking, often with a baby in tow
Cycling, when time and life allow for it aka waiting to bring my 2 boys on their first ride together
Some weeks, that portfolio is just a walk to the market and back. And that’s okay.
Don’t ignore daily exercise options
One key lesson I’ve learned: Don’t ignore the small, daily opportunities for movement. It’s not always about hitting the gym or carving out an hour for exercise.
If you have a car, ditch it! Walk or cycle instead. Walking your child to school, cycling them to the park, or even making grocery trips on foot a few times a week are simple yet impactful ways to stay active.
These daily activities compound over years, creating a foundation for long-term health and strength. They’re not as glamorous as a workout class, but they add up, and they’re sustainable.
You don’t have to go big
I didn’t do this alone. I had support. A system I figured out over time. A string of nudges I could lean on. I also had a few good friends and we encouraged each other, as well as coaches and instructors that became familiar faces over time. I’m grateful.
If you’re in a season where movement feels out of reach, don’t wait for the big shift.
You don’t need a full plan. Just one small step. A walk around the block. A stretch before bed. A swim, a cycle, or saying yes to a class a friend invites you to.
If this resonated, I’d love for you to reply, forward this to a friend, or better yet—join me. Let’s cheer each other on. Your first step doesn’t have to be big. It just has to begin.
& Today’s Brew
is hearty matcha latte from the Cornershop. I like watching the owner meditatively whisk the matcha, no matter how long the queue is. Describing itself as a indie drinks stall run by a meticulous lady, it serves coffee, craft beer and “trendy” drinks like strawberry matcha latte. I’m old school so I don’t deviate too far from the basics, and they deliver. The matcha is made from the very excellent Niko Neko matcha powder, and it’s grassy, creamy and has only a hint of bitterness in its aftertaste. Yum!
James Clear's idea, popularised in "Atomic Habits," highlights that small, consistent improvements over time can drastically alter a person's life trajectory. These small changes, often seemingly insignificant, compound and lead to significant results. The key is to focus on building good habits and breaking bad ones through consistent, incremental adjustments. Source: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
Peter Attia’s Outlive was written to help individuals rethink about long-term health, focusing on living better, not just longer. He talks about shifting from reactive healthcare to prevention—focusing on strength training, nutrition, sleep, and emotional health. The big idea? Don’t wait until something breaks. Build the habits now to stay functional, sharp, and present in the years that matter most. Source: https://peterattiamd.com/outlive/
Indeed encouraged by this to start with a few small steps, and not to discount the daily "small" activities like walking to do groceries! A near-40s postpartum body sure feels different now, with aches and pains I never knew I had.