Slowing Down with My Son in Japan
A quiet, solo parenting trip with my four-year-old to Japan became a gentle reminder of what it means to be fully present—and the surprising joy in slowing down.
Navigating Japan with my four-year-old turned into something more than sightseeing—it became a quiet rebellion against speed, and a reminder of what it means to really be with your child.
No Itinerary Survives Contact with a Preschooler
In early 2023, I took my four-year-old son on a solo trip to Japan1.
It wasn’t just about trains (though there were plenty of those). It wasn’t about ticking off sights or finding the best coffee. It was about something quieter, deeper: spending slow, uninterrupted time with him. Just the two of us. No distractions, no second parent to lean on. Just presence. Just attention.
I’ve traveled often—for work, for fun, for discovery and for a challenge. But this was different. This time, I wasn’t looking outward. I was looking at him.
My first time parenting solo overseas. A small adventure with big meaning.
Trains, wonder, and a tiny explorer
Like many children at that age, he was quite passionate about trains. So this trip revolved around his obsessions: the Maglev Museum in Nagoya and the Kyoto Railway Museum. These weren’t just stops—they were entire worlds.
We spent full days at each, absorbed in simulators, exhibits, and dioramas. I learned more about train history than I ever expected—he described everything from Stephenson’s Rocket2 to Shinkansen models with pride. Watching him teach me reminded me that kids don’t need us to direct their interests. They just need us to be curious with them.
Art and Big Questions
For this trip, I asked for just one stop for me: Kanazawa’s 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art. I wanted to see Leandro Erlich’s “Swimming Pool”—a piece I remembered from my L’Arc~en~Ciel fandom days3.
He stood beside me, peering into the installation.
“Why are there people inside the pool?”
“They’re not really in it,” I explained. “There’s just a thin layer of water on top.”
“That’s silly,” he said.
“It is,” I laughed. “You don’t have to like it.”
“I like dump trucks more.”
“Yes you do.”
We didn’t need to interpret the art. We were the art—just two people seeing the world differently, together.
No Seat, No Plan, No Problem
On our 2 hour 45 minute train ride from Kyoto to Komatsu, I accidentally booked non-reserved seats. The train was packed. We had no place to sit.
I braced for a meltdown.
Instead, he looked at me and said, “Can I sit on your backpack?” And so he did, slotted into a narrow gap at the last row, for nearly an hour, without a fuss. When seats eventually opened, we slid into them quietly. I watched him out of the corner of my eye—so small, so adaptable, so much more resilient than I often give him credit for.
When we arrived in Komatsu—aka Land of Construction Machinery—his patience was rewarded with the sight of a massive dump truck and an impeccably polished excavator.
A Country Where the Trains Were Fast, But We Were Slow
We slept in some days. Changed plans on others. Stopped for impromptu coffee (for me) and bananas (for him). We didn’t always know where we were going, and that was okay.
There was joy in the in-between. In the quiet mornings. In peeling fruit on train platforms. In walking slowly toward a park because we had nowhere else to be.
What I learned
This trip wasn’t “productive.” There were no to-do lists, no developmental milestones to hit, no pressure to make it “worth it.” And yet, it was one of the most meaningful things I’ve done as a parent.
We parent so often in the margins of our lives—in the rush between work, routines, and logistics. But for five days in Japan, I got to parent in full presence. Not as a task, but as a relationship. Not as a schedule, but as a rhythm.
In a world that moves quickly, this was our slow rebellion.
No algorithms. No apps. No grand plans.
Just a boy, his trains, and his mother—walking hand in hand through a country where he didn’t speak the language, but somehow understood everything that mattered.
PS. If You’re Curious
Here’s a rough itinerary of where we went:
Day 1: Nagoya – Maglev Museum
Day 2: Kyoto – Kurasu Coffee, Umekoji Park
Day 3: Kyoto – Kyoto Railway Museum, Blue Bottle Coffee
Day 4: Komatsu & Kanazawa – Komatsu Construction Museum, 21st Century Museum
Day 5: Nara & Kyoto – Todai-ji, Kiyomizu-dera, % Arabica
& Today’s brew:
What’s a visit to Japan without a good cup of coffee? I was first introduced to Kurasu Coffee by a dear friend back in 2016, and ever since, it’s become a familiar stop whenever I’m in Kyoto. I’ve always been drawn to their minimalist aesthetic and the quiet ritual of their pour-over brews. Even with my halting Japanese, I’ve had lovely little exchanges with their baristas—small, but sincere.
Foolet has visited the store twice now—once as a baby in 2018, and again on this trip in 2023. Though usually a quiet and observant child, he surprised me this time by wanting to share a drawing he’d made with the Kurasu team. They received it with such kindness. I don’t know if they kept it, but in that moment, their gentle attention meant a lot to both of us.
Thank you for reading.
If this resonated with you, feel free to hit subscribe or share with someone who might enjoy a moment of slow thought this weekend. More soon—from trains and dump trucks to technology, parenting, and everything in between.
I was quite inspired by filmmaker and photographer Stefan Chow’s experiences bringing his children on solo parenting trips. Thank you Stefan! Source: https://medium.com/@stefenchow/go-solo-travel-with-your-child-it-could-change-both-your-lives-63ca19d28ddc
Stephenson's Rocket was a revolutionary 1829 steam locomotive designed by Robert Stephenson and his father, George Stephenson, to power the first inter-city passenger railway line between Liverpool and Manchester. It was instrumental in proving that locomotives were a viable and efficient means of transportation on railways, paving the way for the modern railway network. Source: https://www.scienceandindustrymuseum.org.uk/what-was-on/stephensons-rocket#:~:text=About%20Rocket,now%20home%20to%20the%20museum.
L’Arc~en~Ciel is a popular Japanese rock band and I’ve been a fan of their music since 2000. Their music video for the song Link had parts shot in the pool. Source: